The first question that comes up for many people with cancer is, “What did I do wrong?” or “Why me?” Because doctors don’t know for sure what causes cancer in most cases, many people come up with their own ideas about why they have it. Some people believe they’re being punished for something they did or didn’t do in the past. Most people wonder if they did something to cause the cancer. Some think that if they had done something differently, they could have prevented it. If you’re having these thoughts, you’re not alone. They are common among people with cancer. But cancer isn’t a punishment for things you did or didn’t do. Don’t blame yourself. It’s painful, and it rarely helps. It’s almost never possible to know exactly what caused the cancer. Focus instead on taking good care of yourself now – both your body and your mind.
We don’t yet know what causes all cancers. We do know that there are certain things called “risk factors” that affect your chance of getting some diseases. Some risk factors for cancer can be changed and others can’t. Risk factors that can’t be changed include your age, sex, and family history. Things that can be changed are things you do, such as whether you use tobacco or drink alcohol, what you eat, and how much sun you get. Other risk factors are linked to things in the environment that cause cancer. But risk factors don’t tell us everything. Having a risk factor, or even many risk factors, doesn’t mean that you’ll get cancer. And some people who get cancer may have few or no known risk factors. Even if a person with cancer has a risk factor, it’s very hard to know what part that risk factor may have had in causing the cancer.
Some cancers can run in families, but cancer isn’t passed on from parent to child the same way that height and eye color are. While some cancers do have genetic risk factors, most people with cancer didn’t inherit it, nor do they pass it on to their children.
It’s normal to think about dying if you’ve just been told you have cancer. You may feel better knowing that the outlook for many people diagnosed with cancer is very good. Many people still believe that “cancer = death.” But the fact is that most cancers can be treated. There are more than 14 million people living in the United States today who have or had cancer. The survival rate among different cancers varies greatly, so you’ll want to look at how well treatment works for your type of cancer. Numbers can give you an overall picture, but keep in mind that every person is unique. Statistics can’t predict exactly what will happen to you. Talk with your cancer care team if you have questions about your own chances of a cure, or how long you might survive your cancer. They know your situation best. Sometimes people are found to have a fast-growing or widespread cancer and are told that they might not be expected to live very long. This is hard to hear and take in.
Taking in the news:
At first, most people need some time to adjust to the fact that they have cancer. They need time to think about what’s most important in their lives and get support from loved ones. For many, this is an emotionally hard time. Feelings such as disbelief, shock, fear, and anger are all normal. These feelings use up a lot of mental energy. This can make it even harder to take in and understand all the medical information shared by the cancer care team. You’ll likely need some time to absorb and understand what your diagnosis and treatment options mean for you and your loved ones.
Coping skills:
People cope with cancer just like they cope with many other problems in life – each person does it in their own way. With time and practice, most people find ways to go on with their work, hobbies, and social relationships. They find new or different ways to live their lives to the fullest.
As you look for a way of coping that works for you, you may want to try some of these ideas:
- Learn as much as you can about your cancer and its treatment.
- Express your feelings.
- Take care of yourself.
- Exercise.
- Reach out to others.
- Try to focus on what you can control, not what you can’t.
The major types of treatment for cancer are surgery, radiation, and chemo therapy (which are reviewed in the next section, “Common types of cancer treatment”). You might also have heard about hormone therapies, biologic therapies, targeted therapies, and stem cell transplants.
Your cancer treatment will be based on your situation. Certain types of cancer respond better to certain types of treatment. Knowing the exact type of cancer you have is important in deciding which treatments will work the best. The cancer’s stage (how much cancer there is and where it is) will affect treatment options, too. Your health, lifestyle, and personal preferences will also play a part in deciding which treatment plan is best for you. Some types of treatment might work better for you than others, so be sure you understand your options. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. It’s your right to know what treatments are most likely to help and what their side effects may be.
Before starting treatment, ask about the goal of treatment. Is the purpose of the treatment to cure the cancer, control it, or treat problems it’s causing? This is a key part of the decision-making process. Sometimes the goal of treatment can change over time.